Transcribed by Brandon Williams
Transformers: Robots in Disguise
“Commandos” – Episode 15
Written by Marc Handler
Scourge: Megatron, we’re ready to move. Now you will be able to see the new Commandos in action.
Megatron: If they take out this target then soon we will take this planet. But these Decepticons better do the job, Scourge.
Scourge: They will strike like a fist of steel. Nothing can stop them. Mega-Octane has twin laser cannons. Ro-Tor has sting blades. Armorhide has plasma morters. Rollbar is all-terrain terror.
Scourge: Movor, air attack. Together they’re all action. Overwhelming power, applied with absolute and devastating precision and all to serve you, Megatron.
Megatron: Hydro-electric dams. These humans are completely dependent on the energy they produce.
Scourge: That’s why we’ll destroy their dams one at a time.
Megatron: They’ll have to surrender… on our terms… And of course you know what our terms will be now, do you? Absoulte domination of this planet!
Scourge: We will carry out your plan with unwaivering dedication. Hail Megatron!
Megatron: I like the way you operate, Scourge. As for you, Sky-Byte…
Megatron: There must be something you can do to keep busy while the Decepticons are reeking glorious destruction.
T-AI: The dam they destroyed was in a remote location. I don’t know why they chose it.
Optimus: It was a practice run. A successful one. The next target will be a damn many people are dependent on.
T-AI: I’ll do a data search for dams near population centres.
Optimus: Send patrols out to protect them. This is a powerful enemy. I’ve never seen commandos destroy a target so forcefully. Autobots, full alert!
T-AI: No problem. Calling all Autobots! Emergency alert, please respond!
Dark Scream: This is heavy!
Gas Skunk: Quit complaining.
Sky-Byte: Have you lost your minds? What do you think you’re doing?
Gas Skunk: What do you think? Duh! We’re here to help Scourge with his new plan.
Sky-Byte: So he gets the glory while we get the trash detail, is that it? I have a better idea…
Slapper: What? Act like Autobots?!
Gas Skunk: Autobots?! I can’t do that goodie-good junk they do, just forget it!
Sky-Byte: Good guys are overrated. It’s easy to do those things. We’ll get Scourge and the Autobots to destroy each other and we’ll be the only ones left!
Slapper: Whoa, that means we’ll be the best team.
Sky-Byte: Yes, if we’re the only team that does follow. Now don’t get overheat your little toad brain, all right? We must keep this a secret from Megatron. We’ll dress up like Autobots so no one will know.
Slapper: We’ll be in disguise? Cool!
Sky-Byte: We’ll wreck Scourge’s plan and blame the Autobots so he’ll go after them. And we’ll sit back as the bolts start flying!
Gas Skunk: That’s really sneaky, Sky-Byte, but we’ve gotta figure out what kind of costumes we’re gonna wear.
Slapper: Well, if we’re gonna dress up like Autobots, then I’m gonna look like Optimus Prime! Yeah, that’s it!
Gas Skunk: No, I’m gonna be Optimus Prime! I’ll have a red helmet and a siren…
Dark Scream: I’ll be Optimus Prime, I want him!
Sky-Byte: Stop this nonsense! If you had any brains you’d be dangerous. I, of course, shall be Optimus Prime.
Slapper: Well, ain’t that just Prime.
Lady: Well, this is it. The biggest dam in the whole region.
Koji: Yeah, it’s humungous!
Lady: When the water goes through, it turns the turbines and sends electric power to thousands of people. That electricity helps us to run our televisions and computers.
Koji: So the hotel that we’re staying at gets its power from here, right?
Lady: Yes, the whole city does. And lots of other cities, too. Without dams like this, we really would be in the dark.
Koji: Can we go inside?
Lady: Sure. I’ll show you the turbines and you can see how everything works.
Koji: All right!
X-Brawn: Been on patrol all day and all I’ve seen are lizards and catcus… And not too many of them. Oh well. Whoa, what have we here? X-Brawn, transform!
Scourge: Scourge, transform!
Mega-Octane: Mega-Octane, transform!
Armorhide: Armorhide, transform!
Rollbar: Rollbar, transform!
X-Brawn: Eat plasma, ya varmints!
Slapper: Aha, they’re doin’ it, Sky-Byte. Should we put our costumes on now?
Sky-Byte: Not so fast. Let them do a little damage first, then we can make our move.
Slapper: Hey, hey!
Mega-Octane: Twin Lasers!
X-Brawn: Yeehaw! Whoa there, partner. You’re gonna dent my fenders.
Scourge: Loser. You’re going for a swim.
X-Brawn: Whoa, I ain’t a lasso, y’know! Okay, I can handle this. Broadstroke… Swim, swim, swim, swim, swim, swim, swim… uh oh. Right, again. Swim, swim, swim, swim, swim! Man!
Scourge: Problem solved. I want precise execution of this operation.
Three Commandos: Yessir!
Slapper: You gotta admit, Scourge has a cool attitude.
Dark Scream: Yeah, and I like that whirling over his head thing… What do you call that?
Gas Skunk: I dunno, but I’m taking notes. I wanna learn that.
Sky-Byte: Fools, are you going to admire him or stop him?!
Rollbar: All clear. C’mon back!
Koji: Oh no! It’s the Decepticons! Man, I’ve gotta tell Optimus Prime! Optimus, listen!
Optimus: I’m here. What is it, Koji?
Koji: I’m at the Sherman Dam near the Los Bogus desert resort. There are Decepticons popping up all over!
Optimus: I’ll send the Autobots immediately. We’ll get you out of there. For now, lay low.
Koji: Uhh… right!
Optimus: But X-Brawn’s over there… How did they get past him?
T-AI: I don’t know. He’s offline. I can’t reach him.
Optimus: Send Sideburn and Prowl. Have them use the global space bridge.
T-AI: No problem.
Optimus: I’m on my way.
Scourge: Remember, move with maximum stealth. Strike with maximum power. Destroy the dam, now!
Sky-Byte: You want to wreck the dam and get all the credit and I don’t think so! Autobots, attack!
Slapper: BAAAHHH! Hey, you bad guys!
Dark Scream: You won’t get past us Autobots!
Gas Skunk: We’re protecting this dam!
Mega-Octane: We’re under fire!
Ro-Tor: Look out!
Slapper: Ha! Hey, I like being a good guy, as long as I can blow things up.
[The Morons begin to yell and scream to taunt the Decepticons.]
Sky-Byte: Silence! I’m Optimus Prime, I told you that!
Slapper: Whoa, check him out. He really went all out.
Gas Skunk: We’ve got four Optimus Primes here.
Dark Scream: It’s kind of… embarassing, you know!
Mega-Octane: Autobot scum!
Scourge: No, I’ll take care of this diversion. Execute the mission.
Slapper: Whoa, we really ticked him off and he’s coming this way! On second thought, you guys can be Optimus Prime!
Sky-Byte: Exit, stage left!
Gas Skunk: Don’t leave without me! Wait up!
Sideburn: There’s the dam!
Prowl: But where are the Decepticons?
Scourge: Right here.
Prowl: You’re under arrest.
Scourge: Fools. Ambush… shooting at commandos? That’s a big mistake.
Sideburn: What? We didn’t fire a shot!
Scourge: Now you’re leaving. Sword of Fury!
Sideburn: Sideburn, transform!
Prowl: Prowl, transform! Fusion Flame!
Sideburn: Gotcha now!
Scourge: Barrage! You are scrap.
Sideburn: Not so rough! Dude… We gotta get back up there!
Prowl: This is the stroke they teach at the academy.
Sideburn: So much for police training, huh?
Prowl: We need to upgrade our underwater instruction.
X-Brawn: Howdy hombres!
Sideburn: What are you doing down here? I thought you were on patrol, bro.
X-Brawn: A little run-in with an extra large Decepticon. Mean sucker, too.
Prowl: We need a new underwater procedure manual.
Sideburn: Can we just drop the police routine for once?
X-Brawn: ‘Fraid we’re gonna have to wait this one out, armanos.
Sideburn: We must have some options.
X-Brawn: Sure we do! I spy, with my little eye, something beginning with ‘f.’
Sideburn: Oh, I hate that game. How about we play a round of Old Maid instead, huh?
Prowl: Don’t encourage him, X-Brawn, y’know next thing you know he’ll be down here playing Go Fish!
Sideburn (very sarcastically): HA HA HA HA HA!
Mega-Octane: Commander Scourge, mission accomplished. We’re in place. The bombs are set. Just give the order.
Scourge: Excellent. Megatron, ready to destroy the dam.
Megatron: Good. Now I will let the humans know exactly what they’re up against.
Sky-Byte: Quickly, Dark Scream. Install this transmitter on the bomb detonator.
Dark Scream: All right!
Sky-Byte: Ha, ha, ha, ha. Won’t Scourge be surprised when he finds out that I’ve taken control of all of those bombs!
Optimus: Optimus Prime, transform! Prowl… Sideburn… Where are you? Come in! T-AI, Autobot Brother status.
T-AI: They arrived at the dam, but I lost contact right afterward.
Optimus: Ugh, now I see. Dark Scream, touch this dam and you and your Predacons are history!
Dark Scream: You and your Auto-chumps are the ones who are going to get slugged! Scourge is looking for you, Optimus! Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Man in background: Make me a wealthy man, hooo!
Kelly: C’mon, baby needs a new pair of shoes! Now be good to mama!
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, it’s showtime!
Kelly: Hmmmm… What’s the show?
Megatron: Listen and listen carefully. You pitiful humans are entirely dependant on electrical energy. Without it, you are completely defenseless. I will destroy this dam in three minutes, then I’ll destroy every dam on Earth until you surrender totally! You enjoy the show.
Kelly: But… What about my vacation?!
T-AI: T-AI to Optimus, urgent report!
Optimus: What is it?
T-AI: The dam’s going to explode. Megatron planted pulsar bombs with a remote detonator.
Optimus: Yes, I see that. One of them is the main relay. But which one? I’ve got to get closer. Transform! No good. I can’t reach it. We need another way to stop it.
Megatron: 8… 7… 6… 5…
Kelly: This guy is out of his mind!
Megatron: 4… 3… 2… 1! Now you will witness my power. Scourge, you may destroy the dam.
Mega-Octane: Isn’t it supposed to blow up?
Scourge: Don’t even go there…
Sky-Byte: It didn’t go boom, I wonder why. Don’t you just hate it when that happens?
Megatron: Why is that dam still there?! Destroy it!
Man: Is this like a joke or something?
Kelly: Yeah, I think it really is some kind of show.
Megatron: Scourge, you fool, do you realize how bad this looks? I’m striking fear into the hearts of the humans! Now what’s going on?!
Scourge: Uhhh… Technical glitch. Sorry. Please stand by.
Sky-Byte: Or you can let me take command. I’ve got it wired, Megatron. Just say the word and I’ll blow that dam sky high!
Megatron: Now you’re talking my language. Have a blast, Sky-Byte.
Sky-Byte: Am I a genius or what? He’ll never trust Scourge again. The shark is back on top!
Megatron: As I siad, that dam is mine. In five seconds it will destroyed and you humans will beg for mercy! 3… 2… 1!
Megatron: Someone will pay for this! They are all going to feel my wrath!
Kelly: I like that line. “They are all going to feel my wrath.” Who wrote this line, somebody’s finacee?
Sideburn: What is that thing?
Prowl: A remote device. What could its function be?
X-Brawn: Hmmmm… Could we use it to order some barbeque?
Sideburn: Why don’t you push the button and find out. Maybe it’ll have a cute delivery van.
Prowl: Police manual, section one. Never push a button unless you know what it does.
Megatron: I can’t believe I trusted you, Sky-Byte! You made me look like an idiot! It’s terrible, people are laughing at me!
Sky-Byte: He came out of nowhere like lightning! It was Optimus Prime!
Megatron: Ah! Not Prime again! No, I can’t stand it! Ughh, I’ve got this under control. Scourge, you’re going to blow up that dam now, understand? I don’t care how. Blast it with your lasers, burn it with your flame throwers, rip it apart with your bare hands! Just make it your way!
Scourge: We can do that.
Mega-Octane: Twin Lasers!
Koji and Lady: Ah!
Optimus: I’ve got to stop them.
Koji: Power’s going out!
Kelly: C’mon, I’ve gotta win something! Let’s go baby, you can do it! Yeah! AHHHHH!
Scourge: I’ve been waiting for you, Prime.
Optimus: Then you’ve been waiting for trouble!
Scourge: Decepticons, get ready to take out the Autobot Brothers!
Optimus: You’ll never pull this off.
Scourge: Ah, but we will.
X-Brawn: They’ve busted the dam!
Sideburn: Somebody throw me an inner tube!
X-Brawn: We’ve got a greeting party here, amigos. Get ready to fight.
Sideburn: Fight? I can barely stay afloat!
Optimus: Autobots, consider yourselves a wrecking crew!
Prowl: You got it!
X-Brawn: Little bit wet for a wrecking crew, but we get the idea, Optimus.
Sideburn: If I wreck this thing we’re both gonna sink!
Prowl: You’re headed for the junk pile, buddy!
Scourge: Movor, Ro-Tor, air attack!
Sideburn: Man, they’ve got air support. We need some back up! Hello!
Midnight Express: Midnight Express, transform!
Rapid Run: Rapid Run, transform!
Railspike: Railspike, transform!
Movor: Movor, transform!
Ro-Tor: Ro-Tor, transform!
Sky-Byte: Ah, all in one place for tonight’s main event.
Gas Skunk: Yeah, ringside seats. Who’s got popcorn?
Slapper: I wonder who’s gonna win… And who’s going to be the big loser!
Sky-Byte: If they’re both losers that makes us the winners! All we have to do is fire indiscriminately [and] we’re bound to take them out! They’ll never know what hit them. Sheer poetry!
Dark Scream: I think I like it. Wipe out the Autobots and the Decepticons at the same time! Yes!
Gas Skunk: You’re really twisted, Sky-Byte. It’s inspiring.
Sky-Byte: Megatron respects power. A bold move like that is exactly what he likes. Two birds with one stone!
Gas Skunk: There’s a whole lotta birds down there and they’re all sitting ducks!
Scourge: Sword of Fury! I’ll have to take out this dam myself. Full power.
Optimus: It’ll never happen!
Rapid Run: We’re outnumbered… And these guys have got some major fire power.
Rapid Run: Link up!
Trains: Bullet Fusion Mode!
Rail Racer: Rail Racer, triple power, online!
Sideburn: All right, Rail Racer, let’s put together some major diesel power!
Scourge: Decepticons, begin the counter attack… Now.
Mega-Octane: Yessir. Combine.
Ruination: Ruination, awaken!
Sideburn: Man, those guys are able to combine!
X-Brawn: Big time.
Sideburn: Their’s is five bots but Rail Racer’s only got three.
Prowl: Three Bullet Trains are worth ten of them!
Ruination: Rage Laser!
Rail Racer: Rail Jets!
Ruination: Double Demolition! Airborne Assault!
Sideburn: Check this out.
Prowl: That bot can jump.
X-Brawn: Those are some mean lookin’ blades!
Sideburn: It looks like we better bring in a little fire power. Right?
X-Brawn: Couldn’t agree more!
Prowl: Let’s do it!
Ruination: It’s over.
X-Brawn: Not so fast, pard.
Sideburn: Have a taste.
Prowl: And double for me!
Rail Racer: All right! We’re back in action! Ultra Blast!
Megatron: Scourge, abort mission! Now!
Scourge: Yes sir.
Optimus: Well done, Rail Racer.
Rail Racer: Glad to help.
Sky-Byte: I really hate those Autobots!
Gas Skunk: Uh, I think they just heard ya.
Optimus: Thanks to your courage under fire the humans are safe. Good job, team.
Koji: Hello Optimus! Hey!
Optimus: Everything’s fine. Thanks for your help, Koji!
Kelly: I hit the jackpot! It’s not my fault if your stupid lights went out, I won! Look! Ah! That’s just wrong! Hold on, it’s a mistake. At least let me have one free try. Let’s face it. It’s hopeless. I’m living under a curse.
Megatron: Your great action team, they looked like rank amateurs out there and they made me look like a fool infront of the humans! I don’t like looking like a fool, Scourge.
Scourge: I have dishonoured myself, but I swear I will destroy them.
Sky-Byte (thinking): Swear all you like, Scourge. Your great reputation just fizzled and I’m about to make planet Earth my personal domain!