Transcribed by Brandon Williams
Transformers: Robots in Disguise
“Ultra Magnus” – Episode 24
Written by Tom Wyner
Ultra Magnus: I know Optimus Prime is here. Somewhere on this planet called Earth. And when I find him, I’ll claim what is rightfully mine.
Scourge: Scourge, transform!
Rollbar: Rollbar, transform!
Armorhide: Armorhide, transform!
Ro-Tor: Ro-Tor, transform!
Movor: Movor, transform!
Scourge: We’ll steal as much out of this refinery as we can. Hook up your pumps and start draining those tanks.
Movor and Armorhide: Yessir!
Ro-Tor and Rollbar: Yessir!
Scourge: Mega-Octane, activate pumps.
Mega-Octane: Activating pumps at maximum capacity.
Scourge: Movor, how much longer?
Movor: Well I’ve been draining at 3 millicycles.
Scourge: Speed it up. We want to get this energy loaded and be on our way before the Autobots get here.
X-Brawn: X-Brawn, transform!
Prowl: Prowl, transform!
Sideburn: Sideburn, transform!
X-Brawn: Pack it in, Scourge. That oil is staying right here.
Prowl: Disconnect those hoses and leave this vicinity immediately.
Sideburn: Now, Decepticon!
Scourge: Haha, empty threats won’t stop us, you fools. If you fire those weapons here, the whole place will go up in flames.
X-Brawn: Hold your fire, guys. He’s right. It’s too risky.
Prowl: Okay, but we’ve gotta stop him somehow. How are we going to do that without weapons?
Sideburn: We have no choice, risky or not.
Prowl: Sideburn, what do you think you’re doing?!
Sideburn: Hey it wasn’t me, bro. I was just bluffing. Really! Hey guys, check out that truck. It has the Autobot insignia on it.
Prowl: No Autobot I know of looks like that.
X-Brawn: Whoever he is, he’s about to blow this place sky high!
Prowl: I’ve gotta stop him! You there, hold your fire! Freeze, stay where you are! Who are you? Identify yourself! Didn’t you hear me?! Stop! Stop!
Ultra Magnus: Out of my way.
X-Brawn: Whose side are you on?
Sideburn: You are wearing our insignia. Who are you, anyway?
Ultra Magnus: Transform! It’s rude to ask who somebody is without first introducing yourself.
Prowl: We’re the Autobot Brothers.
Sideburn: We’re dedicated to protecting the Earth against our foes.
X-Brawn: Which is why we were trying to do before you came along and interfered.
Ultra Magnus: Protecting the Earth, you stood there and did nothing. It’s your fault they’re getting away.
Autobot Bros: What?!
Prowl: Yeah, they’re getting away, all right, because of you distracting us. You were about to destroy the refinery and we couldn’t stop them and you at the same time.
Ultra Magnus: You let them escape. Are you cowards or traitors?
Sideburn: Hey, watch your mouth, pal.
Ultra Magnus: Either way, you’re going down.
X-Brawn: C’mon boys, we better tell Optimus about this pronto.
Optimus: An unknown Autobot? And he refused to identify himself?
Sideburn: Well he had an Autobot insignia, there’s no doubt about that. But he sure didn’t act like an Autobot. He almost blew that oil refinery off the map! Then he fired on us.
X-Brawn: And talk about fire power. With those weapons of his, he could probably take out an army.
Prowl: Just because he’s got an insignia doesn’t mean he’s an Autobot. I mean look at what happened. The Decepticons got away because he distracted us, right? And why would an Autobot refuse to tell us who he is?
Optimus: Hmmm… Good question.
Sky-Byte: Scourge and his Decepticons, ha. That new Autobot scared them away. Those incompetent cowards. Megatron should have sent me on that mission.
Koji: Look, it’s Sky-Byte!
Sky-Byte: Huh? All right, Autobots, you want a fight, you’ll get one! You…
Koji: Hi there. We’ve been looking for you. We know you’re really not that bad a guy, Sky-Byte.
Koji: We were just saying, the way you stood up to the Decepticons, that was the coolest thing!
Sky-Byte: Listen, I don’t know what you kids are trying to pull but it won’t work.
Kids: Oh wow, Sky-Byte’s the greatest!
Sky-Byte: Look, I uh…. I don’t understand!
Kids: Give us your autograph, Sky-Byte!
Sky-Byte: This is embarassing. I’d love to stay and chat, but we celebrities are very busy, you know! Beast mode!
Kids: Bye! See ya, Sky-Byte!
Sky-Byte: This is amazing! I’m very popular. I should get an agent, or a manager. Maybe I should get my Haikus published!
Megatron: Ah, so you’ve returned. Report, Scourge. Was your mission a success?
Scourge: No, Megatron. We were only able to obtain part of the refinery’s energy before being discovered by the Autobots. If we had fought them there the energy would have been destroyed. We took what we had and we’ll go back to get the rest. The Decepticons are ready for our next assignment.
Megatron: I’ll have a new mission for you soon. You are excused for now.
Scourge: As always we are at your command, Megatron.
Megatron: Your report, Sky-Byte.
Sky-Byte: Yes, oh great one. I would’ve brought you more energy from the refinery but I was ambushed by an army of rabid humans and barely managed to escape.
Sky-Byte: Forgive me!
Megatron: Apologies are unnecessary. I’m sure you made the correct decision.
Megatron: Your loyalty is beyond question. Therefore I am entrusting you in a mission of vital importance.
Sky-Byte: I will not fail you. Finally a mission worthy of my talents! And when I succeed, Scourge will have to pay me the respect I deserve! Muhahaha!
T-AI: I’m getting a weird transmission, sir.
Optimus: Is it one of our’s?
T-AI: It’s on our frequency, but it’s not an Autobot. I’ll amplify the signal.
Sky-Byte: Gas Skunk, Slapper, report to location —
T-AI: It’s Sky-Byte!
Sky-Byte: Megatron has ordered us to find the remaining O-Parts as soon as possible!
Optimus: The O-Parts…
Sky-Byte: This is a mission of vital importance. Contact me at once.
Optimus: T-AI, what do your meters show? Is he telling the truth?
T-AI: Negative for stress, and the speech pattern is normal. He’s not lying and it looks like he keyed in the wrong frequency by accident.
Optimus: We’d better check it out. Contact the Autobot Brothers.
T-AI: Roger. Coming online now.
Optimus: Tell them to to find Sky-Byte and keep him under surveillance, but make sure they have an escape route. Something’s not right here.
Sky-Byte: Could it be? That finally after hours of unglorious and back breaking labour I’ve actually found a, uh… rubber duck. Oh well.
Mega-Octane: Re-routing Sky-Byte’s transmission to Autobot Headquarters will lead them right to us.
Scourge: Yes, the O-Parts were the perfect touch. Even if they suspect it’s a trap, they won’t be able to resist such tempting bait.
Mega-Octane: But what if something goes wrong and the Autobots get the O-Parts?
Scourge: There are no O-Parts here. Sky-Byte was given false information. Otherwise the Autobots would have known it was a trap.
Mega-Octane: So they’ll expect to find only Sky-Byte and our ambush will take them by surprise.
Scourge: It’s time to teach those impotent bots a lesson they’ll never forget. Especially their leader, Optimus Prime.
T-AI: It might be a trap, but we can’t risk them finding any O-Parts. We don’t know for sure, but it seems that Sky-Byte’s been sent to find them.
X-Brawn: We’ve got his co-ordinates. We’re on our way.
Sideburn: Uh, there’s probably nothing to worry about. That knuckle-brain shark couldn’t find his tail without a road map.
Prowl: Save it, little brother. If Megatron gets his hands on those O-Parts, we could be in big trouble.
Sideburn: You’ll be in trouble if you don’t stop blowing exhaust up my intake duct! ‘Cause let me tell ya, you need an oil change!
Prowl: Speaking of stinkers, how about the nerve of that truck we met this morning? Soon as we find him, I’m going to arrest him and take him in for impersonating an Autobot.
X-Brawn: First we gotta locate Sky-Byte and find out about those O-Parts. Let’s go!
Prowl: We’ve got company!
Sideburn: What do you mean? My censors show this road’s clear for the next ten miles!
Prowl: There’s this real high tech gadget called a rear-view mirror. You might try using it sometime.
X-Brawn: Well what do you know… That truck from the refinery, and it looks like he’s trying to pass us!
Sideburn: Fat chance. There’s no way a truck that big can go faster than we can. Is there?
X-Brawn: From the looks of him, he’s got more horsepower than a stampeding herd and a wild buffalo!
Sideburn: Wow, make that two herds!
Prowl: Watch out!
Prowl: Listen, whoever you are, I’d take you in right now. But we’re on a mission, so get out of the way!
Ultra Magnus: Fools, you’re headed straight into an ambush.
Ultra Magnus: The Decepticons used Sky-Byte to lure you into a trap. They have no idea where the O-Parts are.
Sideburn: Hey why should we listen to you? We don’t even know who you are.
Ultra Magnus: All you have to know for now is this, like it or not, your mission ends here. Stun Laser!
X-Brawn: Feels like every circuit in my mainframe is overloading! My systems aren’t responding!
Prowl: Feels like he hit us with a million bolts!
Sideburn: Who is this guy?!
Sideburn: Oh, my achin’ chassis. Where am I?
X-Brawn: This truck’s carrying us around like we’re toys!
Prowl: In the name of the Autobots I demand that you unload us!
Ultra Magnus: Optimus may put up with your whining, but I won’t. It’s time for your afternoon nap! Sweet dreams! Ha, ha, ha, ha! Now to find Optimus Prime.
Prowl: X-Brawn, Sideburn, you all right?
X-Brawn: I’ll know in a minute. Half my systems are fragmented. I’m still rebooting.
Sideburn: I had a wonderful dream about a little red sportscar, real beaut.
Prowl: Stop day dreaming and run a systems check. As soon as we’re operational, we’re outta here!
Sky-Byte: Those O-Parts have got to be down here somewhere!
Scourge: I’ve left a trail for the Autobots that will lead them to Sky-Byte. Before they find him, they’ll have to go through this canyon.
Mega-Octane: The perfect place for an ambush. They won’t stand a chance.
Scourge: If that new Autobot from the refinery shows up, we’ll get him at the same time.
Ultra Magnus: I don’t think so.
Mega-Octane: Who’re you?!
Ultra Magnus: Not that it’s any of your business, but I’m from Cybertron and I’m an Autobot. Ultra Magnus, transform! Your ambush has failed, Decepticons. Now I’m the one you’ll have to fight. You’re facing the most powerful Autobot in the universe.
Optimus: What? This mysterious Autobot hijacked all three of you?
X-Brawn: He hit us with some kind of high energy beam that scrambled our circuits and knocked us out.
Optimus: Did he say anything about who he is or why he’s here?
Prowl: No, but he sure knows who you are. He called you by name.
X-Brawn: He said Sky-Byte’s transmission was a ploy to lead us into an ambush.
Prowl: Maybe he’s just saying that to keep us from finding him.
X-Brawn: We won’t know what’s really going on until we get to Sky-Byte’s location.
Optimus: You three aren’t going anywhere. Return to base.
X-Brawn & Prowl: Huh?
Sideburn: But we haven’t completed the mission yet!
Optimus: Your mission’s aborted. I want T-AI to check your systems for residual damage. I’ll find Sky-Byte. And as for that hijacker, if it’s who I think it is, I’m sure he’ll be there waiting for me. Transform! It must be Ultra Magnus. He’s the only one with that kind of power. I thought he was still on Cybertron. He was almost chosen to command the Autobots, but I was chosen instead. I was given the power of the Matrix. After all these eons, could that be what he’s come for?
Scourge: Plasma Blast!
Ultra Magnus: Arm Laser! The Autobots think you Decepticons are their most dangerous enemies, but you’re nothing more than cowardly weaklings. Your day of reckoning has come.
Scourge: I don’t think so. We may have failed to ambush the Autobots, but you’ve been kind enough to provide us with a new target.
Ultra Magnus: What?
Movor: Chew on this.
Ro-Tor: And have a taste of this while you’re at it!
Armorhide: By the time we’re through with him, the only place he’ll be going is the recycling bin.
Rollbar: They’ll need a metal detector to find all the pieces.
Scourge: You should have remained on Cybertron, Ultra Magnus. I’m afraid your stay on Earth is going to be a very short one. Infact, it ends right now.
Mega-Octane: Your Autobot friends can’t help you now. You’re finished.
Ultra Magnus: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. What makes you think I need anybody’s help? I can handle you weaklings all by myself.
Scourge: Arrogant fool. Destroying you will be a pleasure. Decepticons, battle mode!
Mega-Octane: If you think you can take all of us on at once, you’re wrong. Let’s show him, guys!
Ultra Magnus: Jets on!
Scourge: What’s this? An Autobot that can fly?
Ultra Magnus: The only thing you’ve shown me so far is a fireworks display. Well the show’s over, Decepticons. Welcome to reality.
Mega-Octane: Decepticons, combine!
Ruination: Ruination awakens!
Ultra Magnus: You may be lousy fighters but at least you’re good for a laugh. You ever thought about taking your act on the road?
Ruination: Glad you liked it because it’s the last thing you’ll ever see!
Scourge: Barrage Attack!
Ultra Magnus: Stun Cluster!
Optimus: Ultra Magnus! Optimus Prime, transform! Battle Mode!
Ultra Magnus (thinking): So I’ve finally found you.
Optimus: Pulse Cannon! Firing Missiles! Blizzard Storm!
Movor: My flaps are freezing up.
Ro-Tor: So are my altitude controls.
Ultra Magnus: Use your powers while you can, Optimus. You won’t have them for long.
Mega-Octane: Optimus is as strong as ever. What do we do now?
Scourge: We’ll just get rid of both of them at the same time!
Mega-Octane: You saw what Magnus did when we combined. Until we know more about his powers, it would be foolish to take them both on at once.
Scourge: You might be right. Very well, we’re return to the command center and ask Megatron what he knows about this new Autobot. Decepticons, return to base.
Optimus: Good to see you, Magnus. It’s been a long time. You were handling the Decepticons just fine all by yourself but I thought I’d give you a hand just for old time’s sake. What? Magnus, what’s this all about?
Ultra Magnus: Don’t play the innocent with me, you know exactly what this is about. Otherwise why did you come here instead of sending your Autobots?
Optimus: I’m here because I know we have to talk. To resolve some of the issues from our past. But my main reason for coming is to invite you to join us. To become a permanent member of my Autobot team. What?
Ultra Magnus: Join that group of incompetence and take orders from you? You’re an even bigger fool than I thought.
Optimus: But you’re an Autobot. I don’t understand.
Ultra Magnus: It’s really quite simple. I’m here to correct a mistake. When the Autobots were sent to stop Megatron, the Matrix chose you as its inheritor, chose your being to enpower with its energy, chose you command the Autobots. As Cybertron’s most powerful warrior, I should have been giving that honour. And now, the time has come to claim what is rightfully mine! Either give me the Matrix or I’ll take it from you by force. Even if I have to destroy you in the process.
Sky-Byte: Megatron will be so pleased when I find the O-Parts! They could just be a few inches away! I can’t wait to see the look on Scourge’s face when I walk in with them. The very thought of it inspires me to write a new Haiku! Mission accomplished, his master’s praise resounding, well done worthy shark. Finally! I’ve found them! Oh yes, come to Sky-Byte, you O-Parts! Ha, ha, ha, ha! Oh, just an old bomb that never went off… Until now! That’s gonna leave a mark.