Transcribed by Brandon Williams
Transformers: Robots in Disguise
“The Fish Test” – Episode 19
Written by Marc Handler
Slapper: Sky-Byte, you’ve been at the computer all day.
Sky-Byte: Don’t bother me now, Slapper. I’m taking the online fish personality test.
Slapper: Fish personality? ‘Cuse me, but isn’t that a contradiction in terms?
Sky-Byte: What? You don’t know anything, frog boy. This test will help me identify my inner fish. There it is.
Slapper: …Jellyfish?
Sky-Byte: This test is saying that I’m a jellyfish?!
Slapper: Wild toads eat those! Infact, they’re delicious with soy sauce.
Sky-Byte: And wild sharks feast on brainless toads!
Gas Skunk: Hey, Sky-Byte, Megatron wants to see you now!
Scourge: Megatron, my master, I have a plan that will deliver the Earth into your hands.
Megatron: Don’t tell me about it, just do it fast. I’m tired of waiting.
Sky-Byte: Ah, so good to be summoned, Megatron. I have a new plan to gather energon.
Megatron: Forget about your plan. I want you to help Scourge and his Decepticons. And pay attention, maybe you can learn something from a battle-hardened commander like Scourge.
Scourge: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Sky-Byte: Argghh… But I’ve been in battles too!
Megatron: Hmmmmm… The only battles you’ve contributed to have been losing battles. Now follow my orders!
Scourge: Stay at the base. And don’t get in my way, or else.
[Transition]
Sky-Byte: Dark Scream, have you figured out what Scourge is up to?
Dark Scream: Yes, the usual. He’s going to raid the Earth’s power plants and syphon off the energy for Megatron. Everything’s all planned out.
Sky-Byte: That’s his brilliant master plan? Well, I’ve got plans of my own, big ones. He’s got Decepticons, I’ve got Predacons, robots in disguise! Tell Gas Skunk and Slapper we’ve got work to do.
Dark Scream: Mmmmhmm!
[Transition]
Scourge: Scourge, transform!
Mega-Octane: Mega-Octane, transform!
Armorhide: Armorhide, transform!
Rollbar: Rollbar, transform!
Scourge: Autobots!
Slapper: Take that, you evil Decepticons! We’re the good guys!
Gas Skunk: Yeah. I’m a po-lice Auto-bot. You’re under a-rrest for bad behav-ior.
Dark Scream: Yeah, we’re gonna put you cowfolks in the corral… or some other junk.
Gas Skunk: Hey, where’s Sky-Byte? He’s supposed to be in on this.
Sky-Byte: Here I am! Rail Racer, fighter for justice!
Slapper: Hello! Rail Racer isn’t quite that flamboyant, you know! You’re never gonna make it as an actor!
Gas Skunk: Well, he could always work in cartoons.
Armorhide: Armor Blast!
Sky-Byte: Aahhh! Oh, ah, ah, ah! Oh, ah, ah, ah!
Slapper: Rail Racer isn’t that flammable, either.
Dark Scream: Sky-Byte’s always been hot headed. You could call it a firey personality.
Gas Skunk: He is complexed.
Sky-Byte: Quit analyzing and do something! Aaahh!
Scourge: Something’s going on here. I’m going to find out what.
[Transition]
T-AI: Sideburn, what are you doing with my computer? You’re supposed to be on patrol.
Sideburn: Chill out, T-AI. I’m just taking this online fish personality test. It’s very cool. Everyone’s doing it.
T-AI: You’re a sportscar, not a fish. That doesn’t make any sense at all.
Sideburn: This is just way too deep for you, T-AI. In a cosmic sense, we’re all fish inside. Whoa! “Your true nature is the bonito.” Wow, that’s cool… I think. So are the bonitos, like, really popular with the lady-fish, huh?
T-AI: Bonitos are very thick headed. They waste their time hanging around headquarters instead of going on patrol, just like certain Autobots I can name, you know? What?
Optimus: T-AI, what’s the report? Not good. Decepticon Commandos are attacking the central power base. We need a rapid response. Call our best team.
T-AI: No problem.
Sideburn: Hey Optimus, your best team is standing right here! I gotcha covered.
T-AI: X-Brawn, Prowl, we need rapid deployment.
[Transition]
Slapper: Isn’t it kind of wimpy to hide behind a wall like this? We’re already in disguise.
Sky-Byte: It’s not wimpy, it’s cunning. We’ve got to make sure that no one knows we’re here.
Sideburn: Sideburn, transform!
Prowl: Prowl, transform!
X-Brawn: X-Brawn, transform!
Sky-Byte: See, I told you they’d show up and they’re just in time…
Slapper: In time for what?
Sky-Byte: In time for them to fight the Decepticons, get it?
Sideburn: Turbo Backfire!
X-Brawn: Bronco Blast!
Prowl: Fusion Flame!
Sky-Byte: No, you’re supposed to shoot the Decepticons!
Sideburn: I’m not being picky today.
Sky-Byte: We’re not the ones who attacked the base!
Slapper: Is this part of the plan, running away like little rabbits?
Sky-Byte: It’s a strategic maneuver, now split up! Scourge, the Autobots are starting a counter-attack!
Scourge: What?
X-Brawn: Ya-hoo! Let’s round ’em up!
Sky-Byte: Yes, now they’ll destroy eachother! I just have to get out of the way. No, I can’t go over this way. Can’t go over here… Slapper, somebody, I need assistance!
Sideburn: Oh, “Attack of the Clowns.” Seen in already.
Scourge: Decepticons, battle mode.
Sky-Byte: Now we’re finally getting somewhere.
Scourge: Barrage!
Optimus: Optimus Prime, transform! Battle mode! Power Stream, blast ’em!
Scourge: Laser Assault!
Prowl: Combustion Missile!
Optimus: This ends now! All right, who’s next?
Scourge: Retreat!
Commandos: Yessir!
[Commercial]
Megatron: Scourge told you to wait here, but you didn’t listen. Do you know how much power we could have gotten from that plant if you hadn’t interfered? I ought to lock you up for ten gigacycles!
Sky-Byte: Megatron, I was just trying to help. I found out the Autobots were coming, so I rushed over there. I risked my life, through myself into the line of fire, just to warn Scourge. And now he accuses me of interfering!
Megatron: I do not like whiners, commander.
[Transition]
Sky-Byte: It’s not fair! Me, a whiner! Why I never whine!
Dark Scream: Sky-Byte, I’ve got some new information! Scourge is going to hit the Bayshore power plant. There’s enough energy there to keep the base powered up for a year.
Sky-Byte: Great. If he succeeds, Megatron will put him in charge permanently and I’ll be sweeping floors. I’ve got to stop Scourge, but Megatron’s watching my every move. The shark cage is all around me…
Slapper: Why don’t we tell the Autobots where Scourge is going? We’ll send ’em an invitation.
Sky-Byte: Yes, you hit the jackpot! Bingo!
Slapper: Geez, I was only joking. When I’m serious, you hate my ideas.
Sky-Byte: Ah, utter perfection. I can get those Autobots to do anything I want. Just watch as I wrap them around my fin. Hahahahahaha!
[Transition]
Sideburn: Hey, slow down a little bit! That paint job is awesome! I love the glossy finish. Sideburn, transform! Hey pal, anyone who comes between me and a sporty roadster is in deep trouble.
Sky-Byte: Just cool down. I have some information you’ll thank me for.
Sideburn: I will thank you? Salt water clogging your brain again?
Sky-Byte: Normally, I’d make you eat those words but today is your lucky day. I’m going to give you a little inside tip.
Sideburn: Oh, right! Here’s a tip for you!
Sky-Byte: I told you I don’t want to fight. I’ve got some information about the Decepticons.
Sideburn: Yeah, like I’m going to believe anything you have to say.
Slapper: Uhhh, about having the Autobots wrapped around his little fin…
Gas Skunk: Yeah, I guess I wouldn’t put it quite like that.
Dark Scream: This is bad!
Sky-Byte: Just listen for a minute, you belligerent battle bot!
Slapper: He needs to work on his people skills.
Sideburn: Don’t ever come between me and a red sportscar!
[Transition]
Slapper: Uh, you almost had him talked into it, Sky-Byte. You just picked the wrong Autobot. That one’s a little too hot headed.
Sky-Byte: You’re right. He was too stupid to fall for my trick.
Slapper: Yeaaah, so uh, why don’t you try the four-wheel drive guy?
Sky-Byte: Hmmm… Yes, the off-road country bot. A little slick talk and I’ll pull the wool over his optics easy!
Slapper: Who could doubt you?
Kelly: Some jerk’s always handing me a line, but here in the mountains I can get away from all the crazies!
Sky-Byte: Arggh! You’re not going anywhere, Autobot!
Kelly: Okay, I’m closing my eyes and thinking there’s something out there other than big ugly animal monsters. There, that’s better. When I open my eyes, I’ll be back to normal reality.
X-Brawn: Well you had to go and upset the little lady. Where I come from that’s considered bad manners. X-Brawn, transform! T-AI, I just got bushwhacked by four Predacons.
T-AI: Understood. I’ll send a team to back you up. No problem.
Sky-Byte: Just hold on. I’m trying to be friendly here. Don’t you get it?
Slapper: Maybe if we all put our hands up, he’ll get the idea. Come on, now!
Sky-Byte: Right. See, why didn’t come to fight.
X-Brawn: Hey, what is this, April Fools?
Slapper: Here, wave a white flag. They like that.
Sky-Byte: Yoo-hoo!
X-Brawn: C’mon, boys. What’s the catch?
Sky-Byte: No catch. Scourge is planning to raid the Bayshore power plant. We just thought you’d like to know.
X-Brawn: Right, and then you’re going to invite me to a barbecue.
Sky-Byte: We could do that, but first I’m sure you’ll want to stop Scourge from stealing that power.
X-Brawn: All right, lets talk tuna. Why would you talk to me about this?
Sky-Byte: No special reason. We just want to be helpful, that’s all.
Sideburn: Sideburn, transform! You don’t take a hint very well, do you? Well let me spell it out for you with my laser writer!
Sky-Byte: Hey, I got a white flag here! See, I’m waving it!
Slapper: Yeah, show them the universal greeting dance. Go on, do it! White flag up. Red up. White down. Hold it there. Now red down. Uh, no, hold it! Yeah, haha!
Sky-Byte: Another stunt like that and you’ll be toad stew!
Slapper: It won’t happen again!
Sideburn: I think these guys escaped from the space circus.
X-Brawn: Sky-Byte brought a tip. He says Scourge is going to attack the Bayshore power plant.
Prowl: That’s the biggest power plant in the whole country.
Sideburn: Yeah, and why would they want us to know about it? …Unless it’s some sort of Predacon trap!
Sky-Byte: Why are you so suspicious? That really hurts my feeling deeply. I’m quite sensitive, you know.
Sideburn: You’re about as sensitive as a pile of rocks, Sky-Byte.
Sky-Byte: You, sir, need a personality adjustment.
Sideburn: As a matter of fact, I checked my personality. I took the online fish test. It said that I’m a bonito, which is a pretty tough fish.
Slapper: Ooh, Sky-Byte took that test. It said he was a jellyfish, the spineless kind.
Autobot Brothers: Hahahaha!
Sideburn: That’s rich, Sky-Byte. Intergalactic spokesman for canned shark jelly!
Autobot Brothers: Hahaha!
Sky-Byte: Slapper, was it really necessary to tell them that?
Slapper: Sorry, it won’t happen again.
Sky-Byte: Why don’t you go to the power plant and see if I’m right.
Sideburn: Why would we? You know, I even don’t know if you’re the real Sky-Byte. Let’s see… Okay, if you’re really telling the truth, let’s see you do a headstand.
Sky-Byte: What?!
Slapper: I don’t think so. Sharks don’t really do tricks, you know. Maybe we better forget the whole thing.
Sky-Byte: Step aside. All right, terrorize!
Sideburn: Single finstand. Go!
Sky-Byte: This takes finnese! All right, that enough?
Sideburn: Capital ‘C.’
Sky-Byte: Can I stop now?
Sideburn: Ball on nose.
Sky-Byte: What?
Sideburn: Here boy!
Sky-Byte: Arf! Arf!
Slapper: Hey, if things don’t work out he can always get a job at the marine park.
Sky-Byte: All right, now check on the power plant.
Sideburn: Hmmmm…
[Commercial]
Sideburn: I don’t believe old fish face for a minute. This is a totally wasted trip. I was messing with his head!
X-Brawn: Don’t worry. If that hombre’s planning for an ambush, we’ll be ready for it.
Prowl: Right, we’re just going to check the power plant for safety; by the book.
Sideburn: Has everyone but me gone totally mental?
Dark Scream: Hey, look! It actually worked! They’re heading for the plant!
Gas Skunk: Excellent.
Slapper: Even if we lose, it was worth it to let Sky-Byte bark like a seal.
Gas Skunk: You need a life.
Koji: Whoa, look who’s here! Hey guys, what’s up?
Sideburn: Koji, did Optimus send you here?
Koji: No, I’m here on a special field trip with my class from school.
Prowl: Actually, that’s lucky for us. We got a tip that there could be trouble here from the Decepticons. Have you seen anything?
Koji: Nuh-uh.
X-Brawn: Relax! It’s probably a false alarm, but we’ll stick around just incase.
Koji: I better catch up to my class.
Prowl: All right. Secruity protcols are in place.
Sky-Byte: Yes! And won’t Scourge be surprised when he finds out who’s waiting for him! Hahahaha!
Sideburn: This is great for my solar chargers.
Koji: We haven’t seen any Decepticons. Do you think they’re really coming?
Sideburn: Fat chance. If Sky-Byte says it, it’s bogus.
Dark Scream: Sky-Byte!
Sky-Byte: Ah, are the Decepticons on their way to fall into our trap?
Dark Scream: Actually, no. They showed up at a different power plant.
Sky-Byte: What?! You mean I did all those tricks for the Autobots for nothing! Ergghh! I can’t believe– Aaaahhh!
T-AI: Decepticons are attacking the power plant!
Sideburn: No they’re not.
T-AI: Not the one you’re at. They’re attacking the Crestline one on Bear Mountain. It’s completely unprotected.
X-Brawn: Slag! We’ve been hoodwinged!
Sideburn: Ergh, now I see! Sky-Byte gave us the wrong info on purpose so they could attack Crestline!
[Transition]
Scourge: Barrage Attack!
Mega-Octane: Ground zero, eradicate!
Railspike: Okay, gents, let’s form up.
Rapid Run: Rapid Run, transform!
Railspike: Railspike, transform!
Midnight: Midnight Express, transform!
Railspike: We gotta stop these guys fast.
Rapid Run: We all know the best way to do that.
Midnight: All right, then let’s do it.
Trains: Bullet Fusion Mode!
Rail Racer: …Combine into Rail Racer! Bullet Charge, Fight Strike!
Scourge: Sword of Fury!
Rail Racer: Pulse Laser! And to finish you off!
Scourge: Retreat!
Sideburn: Where are the Decepticons? I’m ready to take ’em on!
Rail Racer: You’re a little late there. We just sent them all on their way.
X-Brawn: Looks like we missed the party. Old Sky-Byte threw us clean off the trail.
Prowl: That’s completely unacceptable. We need an appropriate response.
Sideburn: That shark’s gonna regret it, and soon!
[Transition]
Sky-Byte: Alas, so the predictions have proven true. I have always thought of myself as one who strikes fear into the hearts of many, a shark with an iron will, but it turns out that I’m a jellyfish. The online personality test was right. I don’t deserve to have fins.
Gas Skunk: Hey Sky-Byte! We’ve been thinking, why don’t we hit a power plant ourselves?
Slapper: Just like Scourge, only we’ll do it better.
Sky-Byte: Great idea, I’m glad I thought of it!
Slapper: He thought of it? Where did that come from?
Gas Skunk: Fantasy Land?
Dark Scream: Yeah, I revoke his poetic license.
Sky-Byte: Yes, I am a shark! I’ll show the world I’m not a jellyfish!
[Transition]
Sky-Byte: Tsunami Blaster! Megatron, whatever are you doing at this power plant?!
Megatron: I came here with Scourge to steal the energy without alerting the Autobots. But you have ruined that plan, fool! Bungler! Coward! Jellyfish!
Gas Skunk: I love when he humiliates people. It’s inspiriational.
Slapper: Yeah, he’s got a real flair for it. That’s why he’s the boss.
Megatron: This was a stealth mission, but you don’t know the meaning of the word. Your need to prove your worth cost us dearly. I oughta let the Autobots take you apart for sport.
Sky-Byte: Ah, but you wouldn’t wanna do that. I promise I’ll follow orders from now on!
Slapper: You know, it’s interesting to see his wimpy side. He’s almost likeable.
Gas Skunk: But not quite.
[Transition]
T-AI: Optimus, the Predacons are attacking the power plant at Rocky Point!
Optimus: Send the Autobot Brothers at once.
T-AI: No problem.
Sideburn: Sideburn, transform!
Sky-Byte: Huh?!
Sideburn: You… You sent us to the wrong power plant on purpose!
Sky-Byte: No… wait… It was an honest mistake!
Sideburn: Jellyfish!
Sky-Byte: I wish everyone would stop calling me that. I’m not an invertebrate, I have cartilage!
Sideburn: Dance!
Sky-Byte: Ouch! I’m a poet, not a dancer! Megatron, help me!
Megatron: Oh, how predcitable.
Optimus: Transform!
Prowl: Just in time, Optimus!
Optimus: Optimus Prime, battle mode!
Scourge: I’ll take him!
Optimus: I don’t think so.
Scourge: Barrage Attack!
Optimus: I’ll show you a real barrage!
Megatron: Don’t let him best you.
Optimus: You were saying… Blizzard Storm, fire! Roto-tire attack!
Scourge: Let’s go!
Sky-Byte: All right, I’m crawling. Is that good enough? I told you it was a misunderstanding. We had a little communication problem. Now let me go!
Sideburn: Only if you do some more shark tricks.
Sky-Byte: No, I refuse!
Sideburn: Okay, fine!
Sky-Byte: All right, Sideburn! I’ll do it!
Sideburn: Well that’s not bad, but I liked your seal better. It was so cute!
Sky-Byte: That’s it! I’ll fight all of you if I have to!
X-Brawn: That’s fine with us.
Sky-Byte: I, uhh… Oh, you’re all here. Even Optimus! Well my friends will back me up, you’ll see!
X-Brawn: Your friends left you high and dry. That ain’t healthy for a flouder.
Sky-Byte: I’m not a flounder. I’m not a trained seal. I’m not a jellyfish. I’m a shark, I tell you, a shark!
Prowl: Sky-Byte, you’re nothing but a lousy bottom feeder! Now get lost!
Sky-Byte: Ah, nevermind. Forget it.
Sideburn: And don’t come back! Leave these power plants alone if you know what’s good for you.
[Commercial]
Megatron: You have brought dishonour to all of us. Your punishment will be to clean out the energon smelters. Be gone from my chambers.
Sky-Byte: I tried to punch up my action chart this morning, but the screen froze. Now let’s see if I can get through. “Today’s action advice: Don’t betray anyone and don’t get tricky. You will never pull it off, jellyfish are too icky. If you try it, you’ll end up barking like a seal and groveling at people’s feet.” You could have told me this this morning and saved me the humiliation. But nooo, you had to freeze up, just when I needed you! Why am I listening to a computer, anyway?! Aaaahh! Oooohhh! Aaaahh!
Slapper: Looks like an electric eel now.
Dark Scream: Hmmmm… Wonder what their personalities are like.
[End]
